Ah, the freshness of a New Year! It’s a time to simultaneously reflect upon the past and the future. We spend so much time dealing with our daily decisions and activities that we rarely take a moment for contemplation and strategic planning for our lives, families, staff members and patients.

What was special (and perhaps not so special) about 2009? In what ways can we make 2010 an even more enjoyable and productive year?

This calls for my 2010 New Year’s Resolutions!

In the Year 2010….

• I will be a better listener. This should be easy because I only listened once or twice in 2009.

• I will buy a new high-tech instrument for the office. I hear that they have a Beatles Rock Band game out now!

• I will call my mother twice as often. After all, she really should have an eye exam every six months at this point!

• I will work endlessly to find the perfect bifocal contact lens design … for me.

• I will raise my fees significantly. And, because what I charge has absolutely nothing in common with what I actually get paid, no one will notice.

• I will start wearing a professional-looking white coat in the office. It will probably be one with broad leather straps that hold my arms tightly so I will do no harm to myself or others.

• I will purposely plan for my retirement. I will research winning lottery numbers until I find a way.

• I will continue to eat healthier, exercise and lose weight. I will not give up cookies and beer, however. Never. Never. Never.

• I will finish reading Borish. I started in 1975 and am well on my way!

• I will offer good will and cheer to all, unless of course they do not use their turn signal at the street corner.

• I will totally abstain from whiskey and licorice, thus keeping alive my streak of 56 years of whiskey and licorice abstention.

• I will make myself a more highly educated eye doctor by attending as many wonderful CE meetings as I can find in the Caribbean.

• I will do all I can to add luster to the reputation of my dear ol’ Pennsylvania College of Optometry by telling everyone from now on that I went somewhere else.

• I will make a significant contribution to the AOA’s potential political successes in 2010 by NOT calling my legislators dirty names this year.

• I will make an important addition to my office staff whose only duty will be to keep things clean without me constantly grousing—a Roomba.

• I will learn all I can about refractive surgery, including why no refractive surgeons ever actually have refractive surgery.

• I will make it a point to learn all I can about each patient’s personal interests and avocations so I can figure out exactly who knows how to bake pecan pie so I can then badger him or her into baking one for me.

• I will study computer science day and night so that I completely comprehend the best and fastest way to set them ablaze in my back yard.

• I will buy all new handheld instruments as soon as they make them dust-colored, because I never actually touch them anymore.

• I will sterilize daily all my equipment and any stray dogs that wander in.

• I will support our president with all my might, starting with the very next one.

• Finally, I will schedule all my patients under the Mayan calendar so they will come in before their deductibles roll over or the universe ends.