This month’s pop quiz should help you get to know our profession a little better. The category is States. I will not give you any answers, so if you are that curious, you can look it up. Also, this is COPE approval pending (except in all 50 states).

  1. In what state did an optometrist first decide it was a good business plan to make examinations FREE? (I would have put the Great State of Insanity.)
  2. In what state did an optometrist get in trouble for doing scoliosis examinations? (I’ll get back to you on that.)
  3. Name a state that doesn’t have two or three new optometry schools in the works?
  4. Which is higher, the number of states that allow open carry of assault rifles, or the number of states that accept another state’s license to practice optometry? (After all, the government’s primary concern is to protect its citizens).
  5. Name the state in which your humble Chairside writer was born. (Hint: it’s not West Virginia.)
  6. Name the state where there are more bears than contact lenses. (You know who you are.)
  7. In what state was the Canal of Schlemm studied extensively thanks to a crazy billionaire?
  8. True or false: in at least one state, new, healthy contact lenses are more important than new, shiny smartphones.
  9. How many states allow optometrists to call themselves physicians?
  10. How many states should allow optometrists to call themselves physicians? (That’s a gimme.)
  11. In which states can specially- trained optometrists use lasers in eye treatments?
  12. In which states can anybody with no training and any old MD license use lasers in eye treatments?
  13. Are there any states where optometrists can prescribe medical marijuana?
  14. Is California still a state?
  15. Has Texas seceded from the Union yet?
  16. Predicting the future, when will there be more ODs than presbyopes in West Virginia?
  17. Newbies, what state houses the American Optometric Association?
  18. What state requires the most yearly hours to keep your license?
  19. What state flags have human eyes?
  20. What state flags have non-human eyes?
  21. Any states still not allow glaucoma treatment?
  22. Any states still not allow oral medication treatments?
  23. Any states you feel like moving out of now?
  24. What happens if half your building is in one state and the other is in another state?
  25. Can I put an office in Hawaii? Oh, that’s right, they don’t accept my Texas license and 37 years of experience.

I know you had to look up a few of these, and are now (1) researching moving companies and (2) writing down another New Year’s resolution to get involved—for next year. But I digress as usual. Here’s the kicker: I don’t know the answers to any of these questions either… OK, maybe a couple… so please don’t obsess. Go see a patient instead.