I have met many, many optometrists in my life. As one of those kids who wore pop bottle glasses, I met many O.D.s even before I became one. So, I have learned that there are all kinds of optometrists. Our personalities run the gamut from Freakazoid to Zen Master and everywhere in between.
On that scale, how do you rate? Here, I have devised a simple test that you can take today to determine where you stand on the Dr. Vickers O.D. Meter. Proceed:
1. You accidentally break a patients glasses while trying to straighten them out in the back lab. So, you:
a. Wipe off your fingerprints and fly to the Caymans.
b. Go out and be honest as you apologize for your staff members blunder.
c. Offer the patient 25% off a new pair as long as they are drillmounts with AR coating.
d. Do all you can to repair the damage and offer the patient a brand new bottle of glasses cleaner.
2. YOUR glasses fall apart right in front of your patient in the dispensary. So, you:
a. Feign a seizure.
b. Laugh and say something about having a screw loose. Har-de-har-har.
c. Realize that its better than leaving your fly open.
d. Realize that your fly IS open.
4. A soft contact lens companys local sales rep calls your office to talk to you about the latest technology in contact lenses. You say to your receptionist:
a. Tell him I am not in.
b. Tell him Ill talk to him after he sends me a free fitting set.
c. Tell him I am busy praying right now.
d. Tell him that I read about it on a sign at the optical shop in the hardware store.
5. Some patients hassle you because you are taking a summer vacation right when they need you. In response, you:
a. Promise to think of them fondly while frolicking in the ocean.
b. Promise to never, ever take a vacation again without polling your patients first.
c. Promise to send them a postcard from the beach.
d. Promise that if you see them again, they will need serial puff tonometry.
6. The bank calls to tell you that your patients check has bounced. So, you:
a. Take a deep breath and call the patient to get it all straightened out.
b. Hang out at the bank for a week, check in hand, to see if it will clear on payday.
c. Call your son at college and tell him, Sorry, no iPhone this year.
d. Kick back with some fava beans and a nice chianti.
6. All your staff members resign in the same month. So, you:
a. Call it a career and head to the woods.
b. Finally learn how to enter a charge in the computer.
c. Answer the phone in a polite, high-pitched voice so that the caller thinks you still have a receptionist.
d. Hire any-damn-body.
OK, by now, doctor, you know yourself much better. No, there is no scoring involved. This is not a contest! Quit griping!!
OK, fine! Fine! Heres how to score yourself: If you took the test and actually picked your best answers, you are officially labeled goofy.
