Does your office have a slogan? In the heat of the battles in optometry, we need something to remind us where the True North of our office may be. Otherwise, it’s easy to get lost along the way.

Long-time readers will recall that, in the ’80s, I came up with what I thought was a great slogan to make our office stand out. I was so sure of it that I ordered thousands of lens cleaning cloths with the amazing slogan printed on them. I was pretty proud of myself. Years later, my high school-aged son asked me why they said “Ther Area’s Best Eye Doctor.” Yes, “Ther.”

I then changed to an even better slogan: “Our patients are special!” 

I liked that this slogan emphasized the patient and not me. It also gently insinuated that if you were not my patient, you were not special. So true. But mostly it was easier for the state board to stomach since they always wondered how I could prove that I was, in fact, “Ther Area’s Best Eye Doctor.” At least I never claimed I was America’s best eye doctor like some people we know. I wonder how they prove that?

From the Vault

Now, my road to verbal perfection is not without other mistakes. Here are some slogans I have toyed with, and discarded, over the years: 

• 2CCME - Sadly, someone already beat me to this vanity license plate.
• You deserve a great eye exam - But my office was more conveniently located. That counts for something, right? 
• Free coffee cup for your family members - We had to stop because my mom had 57 cups. She passed away a couple of years ago when the caffeine wore off. 
• We love our patients - Sounded better than “We love some patients.”
• How important are your eyes? - Turns out straight teeth take priority. 
• When was your last eye examination? - I sent this to all the local ODs. Hopefully it encouraged them all to at least refract themselves. 
• Itching and burning? Come see us! - Perhaps I should have specified that I was asking about their eyes. Made for some embarrassing moments. 
• Your mom needs new glasses - We had no responses, showing how important moms are. 
• Are you ever on a computer? - Got hacked immediately. 
• Teeth can be replaced - I even included a picture of an eyeball. My dental professional children still won’t speak to me. 
• We make sexy glasses - Turns out they rarely help people’s love life. 
• The first thing people see is your eyewear - It’s the first thing I notice, anyway. 
• Close your eyes and read this. Did it work? - Even my brother thought this was stupid.  
• Birthdays are the leading cause of blindness. When’s your next one? - Depressing, but there’s only one alternative to birthdays, so keep ’em coming!

Patients pay attention to what you say, especially when it’s something dumb. Check your signs. Check your website. You can never take back what they read there, so make sure it makes sense. And, feel free to use “Ther Area’s Best Eye Doctor.” It’s not copyrighted. The state board will love it!